I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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