let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
