i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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