Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
