You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
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Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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