I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
