its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
