i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
