I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
These tits shall not be calmed
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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