Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize