I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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