remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I need a burrito and a hug.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
