Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
