WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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