I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
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Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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