Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I am available for nakedness
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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