Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
