dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
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