I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Randomize
