yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize