Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
