He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
