O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
