was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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