I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
