My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
