i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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