i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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