He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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