didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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