ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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