just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
