Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize