Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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