he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
