Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
