Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
