No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
So gin and wine won't be happening again
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
