Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
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Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
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brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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