my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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