last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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