Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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