new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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