There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
