You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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