It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
stop calling my apartment porn island.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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