never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize