He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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