As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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