Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she pinky promised me she was 18
Less talking, more tequila
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I am mentally ready for anal.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize