I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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