She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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