I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
