he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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