i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
