I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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