i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
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Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
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That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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