Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
