it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
