What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
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I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
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I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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