actually, I'm a sock model
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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