she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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