why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
