So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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