Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
