u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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