I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
